The Rock vs. The Wheel

The Rock vs. The Wheel
By: Linda DePeel (c.2008)

"Hey, Aunt!" My nephews, Travis, 11 and Bryan, 12 came bursting through the door. "Can we borrow, like about five bucks?" Travis asked, his expression filled with hope and eagerness. I had to wait until my heart stopped thudding like a sledge hammer hitting my chest before I could speak.

"I don't have any cash on me, guys," I said. "But I might have change. Let me look." Went through my purse and wallet--zippo! "Awww, geez, Aunt Linda!" Travis complained.

"Could we ask Gramma?" I could see the light bulb come on in Bryan's head.

"Hey, yeah!" Travis chimed in. "So--where is she?" He looked around anxiously, apparently noticing for the first time that she wasn't in her recliner.

"She's taking a shower," I told them. "Oh! I'll go stand outside the door and ask her!" Bryan started to shoot past me, but I grabbed his arm.

"You are going to stay here," I said firmly. "This is Grandma's time. Now, sit--both of you!"

"Well--all I wanted to do was ask!" Bryan exclaimed, looking disappointed. "Why can't I just wait by the door?"

"Because you're not vultures," I answered. The boys giggled.

"So, how come you don't have any money?" Travis wanted to know.

"How come you didn't ask your mom for money?" I countered. I knew what was coming and wasn't surprised. "Oh, well she's broke and destitute, but said you just got paid and have lots of money to burn!" Boy, don't I wish!

"I don't keep cash on me," I explained. "I use my debit card instead."

"Oh! Like my dad has--it's a red card, huh, Aunt?"

"Yep. Like your dad's," I nodded.

"Yeah, my dad says that's the best thing they've come up with since the rock was invented!" Travis announced. Say what?

Bryan, the more serious of the two, looked up at the ceiling, then back at his cousin in disgust. "Travis! It's the wheel, not the rock that was invented, Dork!"

"So, how come my dad said the rock was invented, then, huh?" Travis shot back.

"Because Uncle John has rocks in his brain, that's why!" Bryan said, a smug
look on his face.

"C'mon, guys, quit fighting over rocks and wheels, or I'm sending you both home!" I remembered back in The Day when my kids would get to arguing, and these two are more like brothers than cousins when it comes to bickering. I'm just too old for this nonsense, I thought, but had to cover my laughter with a cough. Luckily, I heard the water in the shower being turned off and I went to help my mom out of the tub and helped her get towelled down.

"You got company," I told her.

"Eh? Who is it?" she asked.

"Your grandsons."

"Travis and Bryan?" I nodded.

"They bring the dog? I just love it when that dog chases the little red light. You know, I've never seen a dog do that before, and I've never seen a cat chase its tail the way Serena does! My goodness! Must be a sign of End Times!"

"Well, come out when you're ready," I said, and left her to get dressed.

The boys were still bickering about the rock vs. the wheel, and I had to get after them once again. "You guys will make grandma really nervous, so knock it off, will ya?"

"Well, how come Bryan's gotta be right all the time?" Travis pouted.

"Ask your mother," I suggested.

My mom finally came out and the argument was quickly forgotten. She gave them money for swimming and they left, beaming. Now I had to tease my mother.

"So, Mom," I said, clearing my throat. "Was the rock invented before the wheel?"

"Eh?" My mother is almost deaf but refuses to wear hearing aids. She claims if everyone would just "speak up" she could hear just fine. I had to repeat myself about four times.

"Well, we all know the rock came before the wheel!" she said. "Sis, are you feeling okay?"

"Yup, just like a rock!" I declared.